A Cure for Goodmateitis
What is good-mate-itis? Good-mate-itis is a disease that we get when we are well-nurtured, well-supported, and very content within our relationships. We feel little or no challenge to make things better, and we feel it can't get any worse. We begin to take each other for granted. We "know" our mate will always be there, so we fall into a deep sleep. We are on automatic. Sex is the same, dinner is the same, we say the same things, we go to the same places, we smile at each other the same way, we forget the buttons we push and the feelings we hurt because we "know" they will always be there.
BEWARE! This is the time when love falls apart. It falls apart when we get good-mate-itis..Okay, now that it has been diagnosed how do we cure it? Well, that depends on who has it and who's doing the curing. In a perfect world the people who have developed good-mate-itis would realize they have it and immediately work to cure it.
They might write down every little thing they appreciate about their mates and send it in a card. They might plan a romantic night without distractions, which includes a new meal, a new drink, and a new move. They might even make an extra effort to try a different response when their mates push their buttons.
Most importantly, they do whatever it takes to cure their good-mate-itis..In the world in which we live, it may take a little more to cure this ghastly disease. It may take the good mates' help to find the cure.
The good mates are probably the ones who will notice the disease first, but they may let it go untreated for quite a while before they seek a cure..The first thing to do is to talk about the illness. Mention, that you have seen a change, and that you are not happy with it. If that doesn't cure the sickness, try to be an example by doing the things you would like done for you or better doing special things that you know your mates will love. If this nasty disease still persists, the next step may be a bit more drastic, and hopefully you won't have to use it.
Well, here it goes? gently and I mean gently, show the person with the disease what it would be like if they didn't have you to take for granted. Maybe you'll have to take off an afternoon or evening by yourself. Maybe you'll have to stop cooking soul- soothing meals. Maybe you'll need a weekend off on your own or with your friends. You may have to think of your own concoctions for a cure, like grandma used to do. Nothing to severe, just a gentle reminder that you are still around , and that you deserve to be acknowledged.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't play dangerous games that will get you into trouble (you know the ones), just try gentle, gentle reminders...Brooke Brimm has a Master's degree in Professional Counseling and 8 years of experience in the field of Human Science. She has been married since 1993 and has two beautiful daughters.
Ms. Brimm authors an ezine, Loves Gumbo, in which she discusses love, relationships, and friendships in today's society. To join email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
By: Brooke Brimm
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